Thank you for your words and your time Anita..

You really gave me some interesting points to go over in my head today, in fact, I went out for a walk around my neighborhood this afternoon and meditated about what you just said.

The things that come to my mind when I think about my childhood in the small town I grew up in… are…

1) The feeling of being a fish out of water.. about everything: from the way I wanted to express my creativity, my passion for music that wasn’t shared by anybody around me, the way I wanted to dream big, the isolation due to my different sexuality (at that time around 2006 up until 2010 it was still a taboo in my town) and even the passion for the English language (English isn’t my first language) that also wasn’t shared by anybody around me. The environment was just feeling not “meant” for me… Therefore I remember spending many many days in my room all day and until late at night, in front of the computer, where the world I really wanted was easily accessible by early social media, videos and chat.

2) The weird feeling of being connected to something I wasn’t even close to… I’ll explain this in details: I am very lucky to have a wonderful family that has always supported me in my decisions, and even financially when I needed it. But when I was a teenager I remember that I just couldn’t find my happiness in anything that was surrounding me. I would find a negative aspect anywhere I’d go because the reality that I knew was meant for me was so incredibly far that I wouldn’t even try to be happy with the little things… plus you know, when you are a teenager sometimes you tend to face things in a different and more immature way. But I always had this vision that if I moved far away, somewhere like the USA or Australia, I’d be happy. And that’s why I was connected to something that was technically so far away… My happiness belonged to a fantasy.

3) The pressure of being in a family of hard workers. The people in my family are really strong, and they built a successful company out of nothing… they are role models and their work ethic is impeccable. But being born in a family of hard workers has always made me feel very under pressure… even now sometimes (now even more with the uncertainties that this pandemic is bringing). Being born in a family of manual workers, that use sweat and manual work in everything they do, and then me… with a more creative passion, and now in the entertainment industry… having these 2 completely different worlds so close to each other and trying to find a balance has always been a challenge… Or maybe I’m the one who thinks it is a challenge because I feel the pressure, while my family just genuinely wishes the best for me, since they never stopped me and have always supported me.

Maybe sometimes I am just too hard on myself. I think too much. I focus on aspects and situations that don’t bring me anything that I could benefit of… just more thoughts… but I’ll tell you something Anita.. when I finally got out of that small town for the first time, when I was 19 and moved to Sydney, Australia for 7 months to study English and try my first work experience abroad, I felt something that I can’t even fully describe in words… pure soul liberation, like I was born again, but better this time. The feeling of being so far away from everything, alone on these new bright streets of this new big city, so young and full of youth and hunger for adventures and new experiences… that hunger for life is a memory that won’t ever leave my heart.

Nothing, not even being on television or getting a Bachelor degree will ever compare to the joyful feeling of being alone on the other side of the world, so young and free… I don’t even know how my parents managed to let me do such a thing, I can’t even imagine how hard it should’ve been to see your 19 years old son fly away and not knowing where he’d be sleeping at night… but they knew how much it was important for me… they saw the tears and the sadness I grew up with, and they gave me that experience as a present, a bridge to my happiness. And I won’t ever forget that.

Sorry if this message is a little long but I wanted to share with you this beautiful part of my life. The most beautiful up to date.

Hope you have an amazing day, and I’m interested to know what you think.