Dear Al:

I enjoyed your description, sitting in your garden, enjoying a little summer breeze.

“what is an example of congruent thought with reality?” A common example: many adult children believe that their unloving parents were loving people who did their best. The price for believing this is that the adult child keeps blaming himself for.. causing supposedly loving people to not love him personally, that is, believing that he is unlovable, not that his parents are unloving.

“This feeling of ‘If I say this word I’m going to stutter so let me escape from that word.. ‘ goes hand in hand with the ‘I was born in a small town that doesn’t represent me so I need to find another one’.. don’t you think?”- yes, but fear and the flight reaction is so very common in our lives on a regular daily basis: fear goes up—> we want to escape. So it’s not unique to your small town experience and your stuttering, it is the daily reality of all of us humans and other animals.

“Growing up you learn.. how to relax more, or to manage your anxiety.. Meditation and breath control are also an incredible help for a person with this disorder”- this is your answer to what you brought up earlier in your recent post: “I have a problem with staying in the present moment.. so what would be congruent thought that I would have to start thinking of?”: think of relaxing, meditating, breath. (It is congruent with reality that staying in the present moment requires a calm mind and body).

“do you think that stuttering is also another key point, another little trauma..?”- yes, it’s a trauma, it caused you anxiety and distress, to add to other anxiety and distress.

Do you have any memory of how young you were when you started stuttering and what events in your life preceded the stuttering?

anita

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