Hey @genie and @michelle!

Genie, so proud of you for how you reacted to your ex and how far you have come in recognising your worth! You are absolutely right that a stable, steady relationship is so much better than the on/off again. Sounds like you have made amazing progress in dealing with your anxiety, and you deserve every happiness that comes your way! I hope the move has gone well and you are settling in nicely.

Excuse the shouting but LOCKDOWN IS LIFTED AND WE ARE GOING ON A REAL DATE TOMORROW! It has been an absolute rollercoaster of emotions; we scheduled it at the beginning of the week BUT then my flatmate got sick with a cold and the threshold is very very low for testing here at this point so she had to get tested, which meant I couldn’t go out til she got negative results back. I could hardly concentrate today I was so angsty. Today marks 8 weeks of strict lockdown for me and I was mildly losing the plot at the thought of having to reschedule this date, especially because lots of my friends have been catching up with their families and friends the last couple of days. Luckily the test came back late this afternoon, so I am free to socialise! We are going to a local restaurant and she is clearly excited as well! It seems surreal that my first outing after two months will be to go on a date, lol! I am very proud of myself to have got to this point. Couldn’t have done it without the support of this forum. Let’s see what happens. 🙂

Funnily enough my ex got in touch too after I posted about the testing drama and while I felt a spike of anxiety, the chemical pull mo linger has a grip! I am so glad I took the advice you first gave me Michelle which was, don’t try to keep in contact. It felt so awful at the time but you were so right – worth it in the long term.

Hope you are both keeping safe over there – and staying alert – whatever that bloody means!! Will update you after the date. Wish me luck!!!