Dear Anita;

hello. I’m feeling upset again. Sadly, I’m not freaking out but, I was watching this random video and a song started playing l, it said “you just want attention, you don’t want my heart, maybe you just hate the thought of me with someone new, you just want attention, I knew from the start, you’re just making sure I’m never getting over you.

this sounds exactly what I’m feeling. And I am afraid of it in a way, I hate myself because of it. Because it’s hard to explain, but it’s not what I’m trying to do at all. But I only start to want to be with him when I imagine him with a new girl. It’s crazy. I never expected myself in this situation. I never thought I would feel like this.

it’s not heartbreak but it’s just, confusion, because I don’t know why it’s happening, I like how he looks A LOT. I like his personality, I like how he treats me. When I describe my dream person it’s him. But I just get this feeling of just wanting to l breakup with him, I don’t want to be a bad Person. But I almost can’t help it.

I know if he were in another relationship I would regret it for the rest of my life. Because he treated me so well. I just don’t believe in love anymore.. I feel like one person always loves the other person more: at the start it wasn’t forced at all. But now it so is . And when I think of getting back together I get this rush of anxiety of going backwards.

I wish it was possible to just ask the universe for the answer to what’s going on in my head. And a fix. But I feel like if I breakup with him. I’m sad: i want to talk to him. But when we’re together, I feel trapped and that’s not love, I don’t want him to move on but I don’t want to not let him move on either because I know I’m not a bad person intentionally. I don’t think anyone understands .

and even if you help me, I’ll feel positive about it for awhile, then an intrusive thought comes in, and it just takes over. And puts me in this place,

I want to be with him but I don’t know what’s off, and I want it to go back to how it was but I don’t know if it ever will, but imagining him with simone else makes me sick to my stomach, it’s like I don’t want to be with him but I want him to wait for me. Which isn’t good, but I guess I have to admit it.

I was thinking it’s okay to just talk sometimes and if the universe brings us back then that will be good. But I know it won’t, because I didn’t love him properly, I loved him selfishly, and that’s exactly the opposite of love. Being selfish. So I know the universe will bring him someone he deserves. Just like I loved my ex properly, and then the current Guy came along and loved me the way I loved my ex, and now I’m loving him the way my ex loved him.

i just want a solution , CAuse it feels never ending.

-Lisa