DEARRR: my dearest anita?

okay so since I wrote that. Things have changed again, in a good way this time… me and him stopped talking A few days after you and I last talked. I’ve texted him here and there and he hasn’t replied, which I know is for a good reason. And I know him. I know he wouldn’t do it to hurt me or to ignore me, he’s doing it for the best

I’ve really just started to open myself up to so much more, I know I’m sosooo young, and there’s so many people I will meet, and seeing him move on will OF COURSE ! Hurt. But I’ve chosen to think about it positively, and more maturely, it’s bound to happen, and like a cut, it’ll hurt for awhile, then it’ll scab, then it’ll heal. And if I keep picking at it it’ll make a scar, but if I let it go with maturity and gracefully, it’ll heal properly, (wow I just made that up & I might have to live by it)

I’ve realized that, us moving on and seeing new things and meeting new people IS NOT the end of the world !!! It’s exactly the thing that makes life exciting !!!, I really do have one of those souls who has the desire to live anything but an average life!! And I think my gut knew that we were moving way too fast and it was way too much for me to handle. So I pressed the breaks.

I still like him , indeed BUT I don’t feel this obsessive controlling feeling like I need him to just STAYWITHME ME ME ME. I almost In a way am excited for him & for me. We both have big plans. We both want to do so much with the life we were given. So I hope he checks all the marks on his list.

you come to a point where you just, I don’t know. Find peace. And it’s an amazing feeling. To not only be happy for someone else, but to be happy for yourself, within yourself. Let yourself breath. Stop being so mean to yourself. It’s nice to feel like now I can flirt with new guys that I meet, or go on dates, without feeling this GUILT. I never cheated on him. But I flirted with other guys, and when I told my friends that, they thought it was a crime. But I never did, maybe I’m weird. But. Just want to live my teenage life to the fullest and worry about being trapped in a relationship LATER.

anyways Anita. I know I will feel different later about him & the situation but, I’ll come back to this paragraph and just let myself let go more and more until I just do. And I’m not rushing myself to that point either, I’m just gliding towards it. Anita.. for some reason you won’t talk to me on any other platform which is ok but I use wish their was an app for this website it’s a pain to get onto and I’ve talked to many people, my grandma people on Quora n you always helped the most, because you know what goes on in my mind because I’ve spilled  everything. Once this s all over I’m getting a therapist. And restarting my life with a positive outlook. The other day I was ready to give up. But I kept fighting, because I am not weak. And this relif is my reward, please ask me some more questions to continue the conversation