Dear Hatch

You have very good instincts about this man, your problem is that you don’t always act on them! 🙂

You were entirely right to break up with him, but it should have been a clean break. He was sleeping with other women five seconds after you moved into the spare room for a ‘break’ and looked at you triumphantly when it hurt you.

‘I remember seeing the look in their eyes, like they were almost happy I was that upset because it made them think that I still wanted them’

He was happy, happy to have hurt you. This guy sounds like a classic narcissist. Do some reading up online if the term is unfamiliar to you. When he said he hated you he meant it, at least in the moment. He hated that you saw right through him to the truth – that he doesn’t like himself. That is the problem with narcissists, they hate themselves and will do anything to hide the fact. And they take it out on you, the hapless person who tries to love them. Making you feel bad makes them feel good. Crazy, isn’t it?

You say you love him and yet you say you are unsure. That’s probably because he messes with your head so much that you keep second-guessing yourself. Again, lots of info online. He’s got you dangling on a string and you have to cut that string.

I’m so glad you’ve moved out and that your life is going well – good for you! But please stop being intimate with this guy and get him out of your life. Get your head sorted out and find someone worthy of you.

all the best

Jan