* Jan:

Normally I respond only to the Original Poster (OP) in every thread, not to the members replying to the OP. I am making an exception here because of the seriousness of the topic, which is a teacher pursuing his or her minor age student for a sexual relationship. My purpose is not to argue with you, but to correct a mistake I made and to bring up points that you may have not noticed. You are welcome to respond to this post of mine.

Indeed I made the mistake of not noticing that at the present time the OP (man or woman, I don’t know) is 29 and the former student is 20. Yet, the topic I italicized above is still the same because the OP  pursued her when she was 17-

– if you look at the OP’s first paragraph, it says: “Three years ago a 17 girl came to my class and .. I began to fall in love with her. After two or three months I started chatting with her. I realized that she loves me too. We chatted all the time and things went well. Suddenly she told me that she couldn’t text me because of her studies“- what I italicized here happened when the girl was 17, three years ago. The OP pursued (texting her) the student so frequently, that he/she interrupted her studies, and she asked him/her to stop texting her so that she can study! The OP doesn’t seem to think that there is something wrong with this picture and feels hurt by a perceived rejection, not seeming to realize that a teacher is supposed to promote the student’s study, not to interrupt her studies with his/her romantic and sexual interest in said student!

Later on, the OP wrote to me: “I know it sounds ridiculous to date with your student. But I fell in love with her. I mean I’m not merely sexually oriented to her. It’s just beyond sex”- here the OP expresses the attitude that if a teacher is falling in love with a minor age student, and the interest in said student is sexual and beyond, then it is okay for the teacher to pursue the student romantically and sexually.

Next, I asked the OP if “a personal relationship, be it a professional friendship or a personal romantic relationship” is “considered ethical, in the education system where you live?”, and the OP’s answered: “if you don’t spill the beans, no one will find out… I live in a country where everything should be done in a secret way”. Here the OP is expressing that it may be unethical for a teacher to date a minor age child, but if she doesn’t tell, if he doesn’t tell, if you keep the dating a secret, then the OP is okay with doing something as unethical as this.

anita

• This reply was modified 4 years, 6 months ago by .