Janus, I have not read all of this thread and have just realised how long it is and how long ago you started it. Therefore, I have only just seen your last posts.

Your parents are clearly narcissistic and their demanding behaviour has taken a heavy toll on your mental health. Please seek some help, there is lots of information online about narcissism which I’m sure will help you. Please do not resort to (even abortive) suicide attempts. You will eventually get away from your parents, cling to that knowledge, there is a whole world out there that is waiting for you and you have the skills and intelligence to make it your oyster. Please believe, and remember, that you can live life YOUR way, it doesn’t have to be your parents’ way. If living life your way makes them angry, let them go. It means they have their best interests at heart, not yours. I know this a hard truth to take on board, but acceptance is better than resistance and hoping they will change. They will not.

Please, please, no more suicide attempts. You are worth so much more than that.

all the best

Jan x