What I mean is that by trying again and again to have a relationship with your dishonest mother (dishonest with you), you had to compromise your own honesty. In other words, she rejected your honesty and you wanted a relationship with her-> something had to give, and that something was your honesty: honesty with yourself and with her.

When your honesty with yourself is compromised, honesty in all your relationships is compromised. I suggested ending contact with her and healing, becoming aware of who you are, what you are about, becoming more and more honest with yourself and so, being able to have honest relationships with others, from strangers to friends to a romantic partner.

Thank you anita for the clarity. I think in the end, this experience will carve me to be stronger and more independent of others’ opinions.