Perhaps I have misunderstood the crux of your problem. I thought it was that you had a fight with your mother about ‘something stupid’ and that she was now not talking to you. I thought that you had a good relationship with her until that time and that the situation would be salvageable with mature communication on both sides. You asked ‘what next?’ so I imagined you wanted to repair the relationship, but perhaps you don’t? Not sure, then, what it is you are trying to achieve? It seems unlikely that she is stonewalling you out of the blue, you must have some idea of what you said that has so upset her she will not talk to you.

You seem to have mixed a few things in together so it’s difficult to know what exactly it is you want to address. Your mother’s partner, whom you dislike (for good reason)? The fact that you don’t feel loved by her (this seemed connected to the dog poop incident the way you wrote the post, but perhaps it’s a separate issue?) and the fact that you fought and she will no longer talk to you.

Your mother is not behaving in a very adult manner but you must honestly examine your own part in why she is doing this when things were good between you up to that point. Although, you now say things have been bad between you for 10+ years, whereas before you said it was because of a recent fight. Which is it?

If it really has been going downhill since she got together with this man then, yes, she does seem to have chosen him over you which must be incredibly painful. If she absolutely refuses to talk to you and is in the clutches of this man and her toxic ‘friend’ then, perhaps you have no other option but to accept the situation and move on without her.

• This reply was modified 4 years, 6 months ago by Jan.