Hi Anita,

Yes all of the positive traits you say about him are very true. All I know about his past is his mother kept telling me a girl did hurt him in the past. She did not go into much detail but a woman broke up with him when he was around 20 or so and she said it did hurt him bad. Maybe he is so hurt from that, he refuses to feel love for another. Maybe he did feel love for her but got left so he does not want to tell me he loves me in fear of being left again? Just an assumption.

His parents are definitely not verbally affectionate. They are very much like him – funny, sarcastic, easy-going, make jokes when uncomfortable or to make someone happy and never really seem to feel deep feelings. I’ve never seen either of his parents upset, angry, frustrated or annoyed. They always both seem upbeat, joking around, light-hearted and just have that easy-going – no planning – “let’s just see where life takes us and relax” type of vibe.

Seems like he hides a lot of his emotions and whenever we did have any serious conversation, at first he is always very uncomfortable, avoiding eye-contact, staying quiet and only talking when I am asking him something, making jokes, fidgety, making sarcastic statements, stumbles on the right words, laughs when he is uncomfortable…but after a while he slowly eases into the conversation and will stop joking and start holding me, hugging me and all that, trying to reassure me but also continuously says he is not good with words and is trying to help make this better but just does not know what to say. After a serious talk, he normally DOES things to make up for his lack of words. He will suggest doing something I want to do, give me a back rub, kiss or hold me, make me some food, take me out on a walk, ask what I feel like doing, put on a show I want to see or do some other favor/act of service and definitely gets more physical and wants to touch me more (non-sexual) but more in a loving/comforting way.

It’s true he does ACT like he loves me which is why I find it confusing why it can be so hard for him to say it. I also hear that learning each others love languages can help and people tell me even though he may not say he loves me does not necessarily mean he doesn’t

I can tell he never wants to upset me,