Dear Iris:

I understand. You wrote in your post before last: “I really do not want to feel what I feel towards my fiancé’s grandma as I can see in the long run it wouldn’t be good for our relationship”- here is an idea that may work for you. It will not be easy but in the long run it can be helpful to you and to your relationship with your fiancé:

– instead of trying to discourage your fiancé from seeing his grandma, do the opposite: encourage him to see her, and spend more time with his grandma yourself. I imagine you will feel resistance doing so, but if you ease into it with time and practice, you will eventually feel more and more included and like you belong with your fiancé and his grandma.

anita