Dear Ferilyn,

often I also thought of myself as toxic. I do not like this stereotyping of people as toxic or “the bad guy” as you described yourself here. This is a very black and white world view, but humans are more complex. We all behave badly or “toxic” from time to time. But that does not mean we are bad or “toxic”.

What is important here is that you were able to see what was wrong with your behaviour and you even went up to the person and apologized. The important thing now is to learn and grow from this and not make the same mistake again. But it is also inevitable in life, that you will sometimes mess up and make a mistake.

Don’t be afraid to go out there and make new friends (I should take my own advice as well, haha). You have learnt more about yourself from this experience that you can apply to new relationships. Please have some compassion for yourself.