Wow! I did not expect a reply so soon. Thank you, Anita…

My anhedonia is one of the lucky features of my MDD. I have fleeting moments of happiness, but largely feel mirthless. It makes it hard to describe exactly what I’m feeling. Emotional withdrawal–which affects my relationships. Decreased sex drive. Negative feelings about myself (and others to an extent). I really have little interest in any hobbies. I just remain flat.

This is a quote from my ex from early in our relationship:

When I tell you I love you, you often explain that you’re trying to show me I can be more than I was and that I’m meant for better things. So I ask of you:  Don’t downplay yourself. R. If there were words in the English language to express how amazing you are, what a light in my day/life you are, and just how damn near perfect you are then I might come close to describing how much you mean to me. I don’t know if you feel like you don’t deserve to be loved or if it’s one of the other several scenarios running around in my head, but please don’t find it so hard to believe that someone could be so overwhelmingly fond of you.

For as long as I can remember, I’ve struggled with accepting love and embracing it.

Another issue is that my memories of my childhood are limited. Often, my sister tells a story involving my parents and myself and I cannot remember. I do not believe there was any abuse. My mother is often emotionally cool, so perhaps this plays a part in my issues?