Hello Yellow Rose. Thanks for the quick response. And bigger thanks for the book recommendation. It’d be great to know who wrote the book, for future reference.
From reading your response, it would be fair to say we’re a codependent family. I knew it wasn’t normal to give away so much of your freedom for security, even when I was younger. So yes, our relationship is love without trust. We love flawed people who acknowledge their flaws. I’ve yet to accept for parents for who they are. I’m not sure if I’ll ever come to terms with that. Sounds like changing them will be futile. I know they had the best intentions for me when they kept the secret, but like in all things, the truth does come out in the end. Is control not love, period? Or are there exceptions? So all of humanity is flawed, no matter how much self improvement is involved?
I’m not entirely sure how to forgive, in all honesty. I’m struggling on how to accept people for their flaws and to not focus on them. I’ve yet reached emotional peace. It is tempting to have a boyfriend to “fix”, someone we can model a relationship off our relationship with our father.
Hopefully, inner peace will be achieved. The people in my life will be for the right reasons, not from deep-seeded issues.
One step at a time, we’ll get there. Thank you for sharing your wisdom.
Though I run this site, it is not mine. It's ours. It's not about me. It's about us. Your stories and your wisdom are just as meaningful as mine. 