“if it is possible that through therapy he can “erase” the intrusion of his OCD into the cuddling and touching” => yes i was thinking about this but also about me in general. “But it is not a sure thing, that he will be spontaneous again.” gives already a part of the response tho. But i keep wondering, during our conversations he acted in a way which was more than friendly (sending to me covers of my favourite songs and pictures of him, complimenting me, etc..). But also the day after being like that, acting distant. He doesn’t play me, i think he’s just very spontaneous but when he realizes what he did, he panicked maybe?

“He can be taking breaks from her (being physically close to her) by talking with you (being physically father away from him and overall less dangerous than his mother).” => sounds like a possibility. Although, since he has started his courses, he haven’t replied to my last messages. I know he must be busy, getting in touch with his new classmates, getting used to his new environement etc. But i can’t stop myself to think “what if actually he talked to me through summer  because he was bored and now that he can meet new people he will just start not to care at all anymore?”. Which sounds pretty stupid even for me, because if it was the case, why would we have spent that much time talking and that often? Somehow i know if i’m in this state right now, it’s because we used to talk on almost a daily basis. It was a habit we had since the very first time we started to talk. The longest time we haven’t talked until now, was three days. I know the situation between us is different, I know he’s extremely busy and we, i need to get rid of this habit because just like it happens now, if i see we don’t talk for a week, i will overthink and pretty much having a sort of anxiety crisis.

I can’t stop having this constant thought about what is in his mind concerning me. Does he think about me? Did he move on? I try to find clues everywhere, over-analyzing is my way to cope the situation as well. I know if something is meant to happen between us it will come naturally. I know i can’t force life to move faster in order to see the future quicker. I know i can’t control everything around me, neither understand everyone. I have my life, i have my friends, my family, my studies, i could find someone else “easily”. But still, i’m here, writing on a forum a full thread about him. I can hide myself behind facts, analysis, theories but it won’t change the fact that i’m scared that he might moves away without me. I’m scared that the day he will start to feel better, i will be only for him a reminder of that period of his life when he felt down, unhappy and ashamed. We gave a try for one month, we didn’t meet each other that much and it’s been 2 months it’s over now. How comes i’m unable to move on? It’s not the first time i met a guy with who the “give a try” situation ended up quickly. So why with him it has to be different? I can’t blame the lack of activities, i’ve been extremely busy since june and my social life is very active.. I know i’m being irrational but i can’t fight those thoughts and it hurts.