Thank you for all your help Anita,

I think I may be overprotecting her a bit. But I’m also quite sure that she’s not as bad as you interpreted it (perhaps due to my writing). I know that she’s good at her core, but I also know – yes- that she handles negative emotions in a bad way, externalising it to others.

As a matter of fact, some 2 months ago I brought it up when I was anger and downtrodden that it was hard to have never seen affection between her and our father. She looked like she’s understood it and perhaps she did. She said “I can imagine that”.

But I also pressed onto her that “don’t think it’s only our father’s fault”. Just to make sure.

I have to agree with you though, that seeing the whole picture (temporarily at least) brings the incidents to a level where I can say ‘this was me as a kid, in a certain situation, with a certain atmosphere’. I’ll do some more zazen to further still the mind.

Do you think zazen is recommended in my state of mind?

Thank you very much Anita.