Dear Anita,

I want to thank you  for all your effort.

While you’ve hit some marks in well-made points that have certainly caused much  distress in me and my brother and continues to bear negative impact, I do feel like you are a bit too certain.

When you said earlier that my therapist was ‘arrogant’ when she- by her expressions and choice of language- ‘exonerated’ me, you are doing the same thing with the scarce information I’ve given about my childhood in making a monster of my mother.

I don’t get along with my mother anymore (not that she doesn’t love me anymore. She does.) I’m just  annoyed by almost anything she does. Could be because I’ve been ‘home’ for so long while I wanted out for 6 years already.

But the point I make is that I’m not overly invested in protecting my mother.

Thinking back of my childhood, I’ve been able today to recall the worst sentiment: it wasn’t shame, although it played a role. It was the lack of affection between my parents. Me and my brother noticed how forced the relationship between our parents felt and we’ve always been uncomfortable by big signs of affection with others (girls) like hugging  and what not. Not with our parents, although it’s not like we were super affectionate either.

So yes, I think she’s been a shitty mother because she ignored from the on-set the most  important part of family life: interparental love. I think the situation of me and my brother’s childhood is not too different from those single-parent families or divorced families. It’d probably have been better for us if they divorced.

I