Dear Anita:

Oh I can understand your confusion. Let me try to explain.

They are very warm now that we are adults but they always felt warm as children because I did not know any better. My father grew up in a large family and they all adored his mother (my grandmother). We would visit her a few weekends every month as a family. My brother and I found my father more warm than my mother and feel that he tried to make up for her lack of warmth and closeness. Like I said, my mother apologized to my little brother  for “not being the mother she should have been”.

I think what I meant to say is that my brother confirmed what you were saying and what I have felt about my mother keeping us at am emotional distance.

I hope this helps to explain things.

Thank you.

Joe