Mima is a nickname so I just use that online.

Yes, you’re right but I am healing because if yesterday had been 4-5 years ago I’d have told my mum how much she has hurt me and my son but I didn’t. For a second it took me back to those old wounds but then I was fine. She can’t change and I accept that. It doesn’t make me cry anymore. It’s a split second memory of her ways, and I then let it go because I don’t give them that space to hurt me now.

She rarely sees my children and I’ve given them the choice to see her or not see her. My Nan was important to me so I never wanted my children to resent me so I left it totally up to them. She’s showed how little they mean as she never calls them, she is heavily involved in all her other grandchildren lives (daily basis) and mine rarely get thought of. There’s been times my middle son has refused to meet her when we had a coffee shop date arranged, I never force him. She has all their numbers but never calls them. So I don’t force it but I’ve never stopped it either, other than in my home, it has to be neutral meeting place with their dad present. Like I say it’s rare, very rare. It’s basically what she once called my Dads mum, a duty grandmother. Just visits on a birthday, that’s what she has become herself. Height of hypocrisy.