Dear anita,

I hope it is o.K., about the turtle. I get what you were saying and the turtle metaphor helped to make it clearer. Just, something about it made it a bit uncomfortable to me. Thank you for accepting my feelings.

About meeting him: I will think about it. I would like to have a friendly ending, as it would make me feel better. And I have already told him that I only want to meet him once. But will there be a real exchange, a talk about what happened? Likely not. I could do this to test myself and to draw a finishing line for myself. Maybe I am also too perfectionist again, trying to be this perfect and fair person. These things first got me into trouble, but I feel that I am stronger now and that I now know what I want.