Hello Rose of Yellow.

Please take your time with your posts on Tiny Buddha. Your home life should be your #1 priority. On that note, thanks for taking the time out to answer the post. It means a lot. Reading “Codependency for Dummies” right now. It’s EXTREMELY helpful. Actually helped answer a lot of the questions in my head. Can’t wait to read the Melody Beatty book.

What you rattled off the top of your head are the reasons we want validation and control. Trust me, I’m no exception (ha ha). Yes, there are definitely things we can control within our world. But it is most certainly naive to think we can do the same with people and the rest of the world. In a self help book, someone said something like, “fix yourself before you fix the world.” Just trying not to throw stones in my glass house (ha ha). Please don’t feel discouraged. The path to self growth seems so exciting. ☺️

Trying to let go of all of life’s hang ups. So what is this “Serenity Prayer” you mention of? Seems really hippy dippy, in all honesty (ha ha). That’s cool, though. Do pretty much anything to reach “radical acceptance.” My mantra from now on will be: focus on what you can control, not what you can’t. And a friend of Eckart Tolle is a friend of mine (ha ha) 😆. To be honest, anything from him is a gift from the gods. No wonder Oprah loves him so much!

The quote sounds like what every spiritual guru talks about when being “present.” To be honest, being in the “here and now” is one of the most daunting things a person can do! Like everything in life, it’s certainly easier said than done. Still yet to accept that the only thing that can be changed is ourselves. On another topic, that’s awesome CODA’s now doing zoom classes! Do you have to pay/subscribe/sign up to anything?

You have every right to feel hesitant about my “ideal relationship”. Then again, anything considered “ideal” does stem from irrationality and/or delusion. And yes, no partner can be perfect all the time. Maybe I’ve got to lower my expectations? 😂So a fantasy is fine as long as it’s in our heads. So where do we draw the line between fantasy and having standards for a partner? So I’ll have to set aside my “fantasy man” for now and focus on “radical acceptance”. Plus, that’s awesome you’re married to you’re fantasy man! Turns out they do exist. As cliched as it sounds, you really sound like a “match made in heaven.” (Ha ha.) But really, what are “needs” as opposed to “wants” in a relationship? Are they different from “shoulds and musts”? So excited to go on this learning journey. Hopefully it’ll answer the real question in life: what exactly are “needs”?Who would’ve thought the path to a better future started on a Tiny Buddha forum? 😇 Your words mean a lot. We all want you to reach your destination towards self growth.

• This reply was modified 4 years, 3 months ago by Suzanne.