Dear Tania:

Yes, I do think that you need professional help, just like I needed and received professional help. I was much older than you when I finally had my first quality psychotherapy. That was the beginning of my healing process. If you have quality therapy earlier in life, it will be better for you.

When we are terribly hurt as children, by a parent, or by both parents, and we live our childhood hurt day after day after day, night after night, months and years- the hurt sets in, it’s there, and we get  to keep feeling it for as long as we are alive- unless we heal, unless we are engaged in the healing process .

“I still love my dad.. In days before he passed away, he hug me so tight and said that he love me so much and always want to be with me forever. And that’s what I remember in this whole years without him”-

– that tight hug that he gave you could not and did not erase the words he told you earlier, that you have your mother’s face and her style, a face and style that he hated, a face and style that was not wrong, not your fault, not your choosing!

You felt “lonely even my dad always besides me.. I don’t know why”- if he was the loving father all along, the way he was when he gave you that tight hug, then you  would have never felt lonely when he was besides you. And you wouldn’t be feeling lonely as a married woman, when your husband is besides you.

“I didn’t realize that I need professional help to do psychotherapy.. and actually I’m not familiar with psychology things”-

– it is not easy to find quality psychotherapy. If you need advice in regard to choosing a therapist, or if you want my input on any psychology thing, let me know, and I will be glad to share with you all that I know.

anita