Dear patelh:

I re-read some of our earlier communication (2018-19) so to refresh my memory of your story: you got married in 2014, not because you really wanted to (“my parents forced me into this marriage and pushed or pressured me into taking the next step while I was dating this man.. I kind of went along with it”), and against his mother’s will (“I got married to my husband.. against his  mother’s will”).

Your daughter was born three years into the marriage, but that didn’t change his mother’s attitude of expressing her disapproval of you.

You shared that as a child, you lived “with parents fighting a lot and arguments between siblings and parents, myself mainly”.

In June 2019, you wrote: “I have noticed that I am always being mistreated by people around me since I was young and its a continuing cycle that is starting to make me wonder what is going on here? I notice people make rude remarks to me in family situations, lack of respect”.

You shared regarding your husband that you love and disrespect each other (“we love each other.. and we disrespect one another, not just him disrespecting me but me too”).

You shared that at times your husband was on your side, for example: when he married you against his mother’s will, but at other times he hasn’t been on your side,  “especially since the birth (of your daughter) he has become closer to his parents and even mentioned many times that he wants to take her and live with her at his parents”.

In August 2019, a year ago, you wrote: “with my husband, I’m going back and forth with him as he wants to separate then the next minute he does not.. he seems to say I’m not worthy of marriage and that others are right about it, and then the next minute he says we cannot separate”.

A year later, in your current thread, you shared that you lost a job you did not like, that your husband takes jabs at you for not working, and he “wants more intimacy in the relationship”. You also shared that you and your husband are thinking about moving to the U.S. where his sister lives, and she may support your application to live there.

I have a few questions for you because I want to understand your situation better:

1. You wrote: “my daughter’s health got worse but she is ok and remaining stable for now as I monitor her situation”- this sounds quite serious. I don’t remember that you mentioned your daughter having been ill before. Is it the genetic illness you mentioned that you suffer from?

2. You shared that as a child, you grew up with a lot of arguments and fights in the home, “with parents fighting a lot and arguments between siblings and parents, myself mainly“-

– by “myself mainly” do you mean that you, as a child,  argued a lot with your siblings, and maybe with your parents as well?

And are there a lot of arguing and fighting with your husband, and if so, who initiates the arguing and fighting?

anita

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