Hi Felix,

Between the ages of 17 and 21 you have been chasing this girl even though she has made it clear that she isn’t interested in having a love relationship with you.  If she hasn’t changed her mind in 4 years, then it is time for you to move on.  You sound as if you have put a lot of energy in maintaining contact and now you have grown tired of it.  It is not healthy to obsess over someone.  You don’t need to feel confused that your feelings have changed.  You just need to accept it.  This is just a normal part of growing up.

You don’t have to have someone new in your life immediately.  Let this first girl go.  It is not fair to anyone else for you to be with them when you really want to be with someone else.  You will meet someone new who can return your love.  Just believe that it will happen.  You say you are working but you don’t say whether or not you have any hobbies or interests other than chasing girls.  Focus your mind on doing the things that you love to do and be happy in yourself.   This will attract people to you.  Most people have fond memories of their first love but very few people stay with that person forever.

Best wishes

Peggy