This was an amazing post for me to read.  I too have similar feeling (sexual) only recently. I did not understand them as I am so much older (the last stage) than the person who submitted this. As I was reading this so surprised and relieved to realize someone else could have the same the thoughts. Then as I continued reading realized so much we went thru as a child were similar. Scared & fearful is how I went thru my whole childhood, then continued into adulthood the same way. I just said to my therapist the other day I realized for the last 16 years the underlying emotion for me has been FEAR !! She looked at me and said why and I tried to explain it the best I could but after reading this post I now believe its my memories and feelings that really have not gone away. I was punished and beaten almost weekly, much fighting between my parents almost daily. That was my life for 16 years. That was my normal.