Dear Alisha:

You wrote about your mother, “she’s also been the type of person to tell others the stuff I tell her.. I can’t say I trust them (your parents)”- no wonder you don’t trust your mother. You told her personal things, not thinking that she will tell those things to other people, and she did just that: she betrayed your trust in her.

“I’m not close with them”- when people betray our trust, we can no longer be close with them (not unless the betrayal is discussed at length and repeatedly, the one doing the betrayal sincerely apologizes, tries to make up for the betrayal,  and is careful to never again break the new trust to be formed).

Your discomfort with your parents, not wanting to share things with them, not trusting them, not wanting to spend time with them.. all these are how you reacted to your mother sharing with others what you told her in confidence, and to both parents reacting badly to things you shared about or did (things that were not bad). It is understandable and natural that you reacted in these ways.

anita