Anita is bring up some very important points. If you continue this relationship, it has to be with full knowledge of who he is and how he is. By marrying him with the knowledge you have of him right now, you are saying this whole lying and secrets and not being true to you is okay with you. There may be more you have no idea about. He will not be faithful in the marriage most likely because he is not faithful now. You might not care if he also has men sexual partners, or you might. It is okay if this is a deal breaker to you. Do not think you can change his desires or his sexual needs. They just are what they are and he hides his true self from you out of shame or guilt or both. I would suspect him of having in person trysts with men if I were you because this would make more sense than thinking he only sexts or has phone sex with these men. From my limited understanding and not trying to sound judgmental, his behaviors as you describe are not uncommon in the gay sexual scene. And this is where the whole STD issue comes in, whether its in person with women or men. No judgement on him and no bias against his desires. I am just emphasizing that your idea of the ideal man and the ideal relationship is not what you have with this man. You’ve closed your eyes for a long time, now it is time to keep them open and reconsider who he is and how he is from reality, not from your hopes that he is. Long bouts of sex with you does not mean anything necessarily. It could mean he is all about his pleasure and it could mean he is all about your pleasure. No need to explain, just think about from a rational point of view and not getting defensive. You can’t make him desire only you. And you deserve to be with someone who values you enough to be truthful and sincere and just with you. I believe we are born with our sexual orientation and how his parents treat him is not making him desire men nor lie to you, nor anything. He lies because he lives a secret life and maybe he is okay with lying to you and it doesn’t bother him to lie to people. I have a relative that will look people in the eyes and lie about anything and everything.