Yeah, true. They all spread stuff faster than the virus. They don’t even know about my boyfriend right now because otherwise they’ll start telling everyone, start mocking me(in a joking way but it isn’t very funny), ask millions of questions, etc. They’re also really over protective so would probably get a bit mad and my had having way too high expectations as well. Yeah, I’m good.

Anyways, that’s besides the point. This may be good bye. All I’ve needed help with is the bad thoughts but I probably won’t get them away for a long time due to the pandemic and my lack of courage to go talk about it because I feel as though I will have to get my parents involved(which I really don’t want) and I just feel like all they’ll say is, “you’re too young to understand”.

I’ll just have to hope that it really is just bad thoughts (I’m completely positive that they are.. That is, until they start flooding my mind again) and they’ll go away at some point rather naturally or with treatment. If I do get treatment sometime soon or when I do I remember this website, I’ll keep you updated. Thank you for trying to help me, it did help, and I’m sorry if I were stubborn about things. I did think about the things you’ve told me, I just had trouble due to the thoughts and the comparing physically and mentally breaking me apart.

If you do have any advice on how to push these thoughts out at least temporarily, please do let me know. Earlier I was talking to a friend and she was really upset until her boyfriend texted her and then she started freaking out and was really happy just because he texted her and I started comparing again, so, now my mind is flooding, but, hopefully they’ll go away soon.