Hi Anita

I don’t know whether he was assessed for brain injury after the accident – it’s a very complex injury, some people can have quite discreet behavioural changes and not realise. He mentioned that he went to a support centre but found that all the people were really badly affected by their injuries compared to him. I guess there’s an element of not wanting to know that he’s disabled or affected by his injury in some ways? I’ve noticed his brain injury has effected some of his cognitive ability like multi-tasking, social interactions, planning and controlling his emotions. He gets very frustrated easily and we find it difficult to communicate on a daily basis.

Yes it is his responsibility, especially if his behaviour has a detrimental effect on his relationships and working life. As regards to whether it’s my ‘right’ to gain the relevant information about his injury. Yes, it is my right (and responsibility to my daughter) to do as much as I can to ensure we are both in a safe and loving environment.

I find the bigger question and debate is, can I show compassion to someone like him? Is this his brain injury – something he needs support with or his personality – something that is unlikely to change. If I can understand his struggles in life, would we be able to move forward in our relationship?

Or…would this be me just rolling over and him dominating our life with his frustrations?

I can’t decide whether I should be showing compassion and understanding or whether I should give up on him?

Saraswati