Sammy,

So lovely to hear from you – you sound shoot? Are you good? How are you feeling? Wow, thanks so much for the birthday wishes, no idea how you even remembered! Very kind and thoughtful of you and very much appreciated.

I’m going to a hotel (within permitted guidelines!) this weekend- he booked a suite and I’m very excited. Apologies if typos in this post as my screen only shows partial at the moment, so I’m guessing some words I type!!

BF treated and spoiled me and tells me he loves me. A lot. It’s weird. You’d think my heart would soar – and it does- but it’s nearly like, it’s so strange to hear each time he says it, I’m nearly like ‘really?’ in my head. And then I think I’m more self aware than him and he only THINKS he loves me but it’s more like a puppy love and so on and so on goes my sabotaging brain. I’m working hard – really working hard to catch and acknowledge my patterns and it’s super weird for me to be with someone who sees ALL my feels and emotions and still stands firm and doesn’t run. Weird right?!

Have you been able to get out and about a bit at all as I know you liked your runs? I hope things are looking better in your world.

Danny,

I agree with Tim, love mixed with anxiety. I feel the same. Often. But I do believe you are self aware enough to acknowledge and address it and work towards that last relationship you want.

I will reply more at length as soon as I can. Honestly guys my job is driving me towards a nervous breakdown. I’m so overwhelmed. But I’m hoping to make a case for some support so fingers crossed with it.

stay well all. I’ll be back online soon with more in depth reply.