Dear anita, thank you for taking a deep dive into my posts.

You elaborated greatly on the part about the feel of being useful, how I was kept away from problems in the bubble. That indeed seems to be a root cause.
That’s why I always felt a strong need to prove myself to others.

So it seems to me that’s a fear of rejection.
Now that I think about it I might have cut some friendships before or never dived deep into any because of this fear…

I think I’d need to nose around this theme some more in the near future.