Dear anita,

This hits home on a lot of points. The thought of getting a disapproving look thrown at me makes me want to curl up immediately. It may also explain why the approval of my past and current partners’ family means so much to me. Hearing their positive opinion about me feels like a warm rain pouring over me – although I also often feel that they think too highly of me. Having this approval taken away after my latest breakup is still painful.

I was hugged and embraced by my family, more so by my mom. I remember my dad tucking me into bed when he was home from work when I was 6, I do not have too many (if any) embracing moments later in life. My mom and I would cuddle on the couch when I was younger. I have one blurry memory of her saying “love you” on the couch…it was unusual for her to say and I feel weird thinking back on it and I don’t think I said it back. I don’t really remember hugs besides coming home after a while away (like summer camp). I am the youngest child at home and my siblings would sometimes make fun of me being spoiled and coddled by my mom. Not sure if that is relevant in any way, but maybe this amplified me not wanting to seem needy at any point.

Explorer