Dear Sarah:

Please calm down/  remain calm so that you can attend to what is most important now: your university deadline and your work. The problem of relationships can wait for resolution later, maybe next week, or next month. Not today.

I wrote to you three days ago, Jan 2, “My understanding: you are suffering, experiencing acute emotional pain and distress. Question is: why? The fast and easy answer, like the title of your thread indicates, is that (1) you feel guilty for having a crush while being in a long-term relationship with a man you plan to marry… Other possible reasons in addition to the above, are:… (3).. you don’t really want to get married to your boyfriend”-

– in your most recent post you shared for the first time on your thread what fits with #3 above: “my bf kept on saying that I never loved him… Even though I was in relationship with him, I had weird dreams about my ex”. You shared that your ex fiancé cheated on you with several women, you then broke up with him, but according to what you shared, you were not over the ex. Next, you settled for a man you were not in love with and agreed to marry him sometime this year, but your heart is not in it. Fast forward, you come across this senior man at work, and you fall in love.

Problems: (1) you are engaged to a man with whom you are not in love, and (2) the man you are in love with is married to another woman.

Like I wrote in the beginning of this post: best you can-  keep yourself calm and focused on the tasks at hand. The problems I just listed can wait; they do not need to be solved today or tomorrow. Keep saying this to yourself every time you find your mind wondering to these problems.

anita