Thank you for that observation Peter. I have had a chance to look inwardly for quite sometime since facing this head on. I’ve realized that much of my life the giving and receiving of love has been reduced to mere crumbs. My childhood experiences with my main caregiver was constantly learning how to readjust to just getting “any type of acceptance and attention” I have now realized that it is the driving force with much of my relationships (or lack thereof). The resounding premise has always been I just want to be loved. I’m so scared to lose anyone because I’ve never had anyone. I mean that literally. My only paternal parent created a lot of separation and abandonment when I was a child. Indeed, I know I have to work on this. Seeing the effects of all of this I have such a hard time separating myself from situations that are not fruitful for me. I honestly want to see the good in all of this. I’m so confused. Especially when he is attentive in short bouts.