Dear Anita,

I am not sure if it was a typo or not, but he does not shame me for our past, rather, I shame myself for having an enmeshed connection with him, even after working on boundaries, mindfulness, nurturing myself, and much more (enmeshed as in a deep emotional attachment, in which I cannot imagine my life without him at all). Because our relationship is so healthy & joyful right now in the present, it’s as if my instinct is to completely disregard the past. To deny my own reality, as you worded it. I need to accept that my reality is that we have had a complicated relationship that cannot be undone, but only accepted and worked through. Lately, I have been practicing turning inward a lot more, and it feels wonderful, but it is also terrifying to not rely on him as much. It feels like abandonment. This is the reality of emotional enmeshment combined with my origin story.

Best,

talia