Dear Ashmitha:

Thank you. Reads like the problem is not that he prefers other people (of the friends and family category) over you, but that he gives his time to people who demand his time and efforts, and being the people  pleaser that he is, he accommodates them. You, on the other hand, are not demanding of him, being the “relaxed girlfriend” that you are, so .. you get less of his time and efforts.

“Is it normal to have these talks about needs being met every few months in a relationship?”- you can have these talks any time you want, as long as the talks are reasonable and respectful.

If his people-pleasing tendencies are strong, then it is a big  problem as you move forward with him, because I don’t think you can or want to become demanding of him, but other people can .. and want to continue to demand his time and effort, which means- less for you. Is he interested in no longer being a people-pleaser?

anita

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