Dear Ashmitha:

I think that it is perfectly fine for a couple to have certain shared interests, or more importantly, shared values while having different personal interests and, therefore,  separate groups of friends based on the separate interests.

“He can stretch himself thin.. wants to be there for …people he is close to.. his sisters and cousins… He is very close with his family”-

– reads like he is placing the needs and wants of his sisters and cousins/ his family of origin’s needs above your needs. If you marry him and he continues to place the needs and wants of his family-of-origin above the needs and wants of his chosen- family (his wife and children), neglecting the latter for the former- that would be a significant problem.

If you consider marrying him sometime in the future, better bring up this topic of possible differing values in regard to family of origin’s vs chosen family’s needs and wants.

Regarding asking, or not asking him to text you more: you repeatedly asked him to text you already, and as the result: he texted you more for a while, but then returned to normal, which was inadequate for you. I don’t believe in repeating what did not work before. I don’t know what to suggest in this regard, at this point.

anita