Dear Ryan:

Your last sentence Thursday was: “I need those grey areas colored”. A day later, after spending the evening with her, you wrote: “I don’t know if she feels a deeper connection to me after my email letter, or if it was nice to have a night away where she felt safe and peaceful. Either way, it does not matter”-

– I am glad it doesn’t matter, at least for a short while, because sometimes we can’t color certain areas, or they cannot be colored for us. Sometimes emotional events cannot be defined, or colored, they can only be felt. And later, if you ask her, let’s say: what did you feel when you hugged me.. she  may not remember or she may remember wrong, or she may get confused trying to remember.

Like you, I like concrete/ solid over fluid, color over grey… but we can’t have that all the time.

Reading your account, the connection between the two of you seems very special to me, on your part and hers.  If I was you, I wouldn’t ask her if the two of you have a special connection because that could make her think: if Ryan doesn’t know that I feel that our connection is special (if he can’t see it in my face, can’t hear it in my voice, can’t feel it in my embrace), then maybe it is not that special after all.

anita