Hi Felix,

I am sorry you are going through such difficult times. What you wrote here reminded me of what Dr Gabor Maté talked about in his talks and he referred to this quote of his mentor/teacher A.H. Almaas :

“Your conflicts, all the difficult things, the problematic situations in your life are not chance or haphazard. They are actually yours. They are specifically yours, designed specifically for you by a part of you that loves you more than anything else. The part of you that loves you more than anything else has created roadblocks to lead you to yourself. You are not going in the right direction unless there is something pricking you in the side, telling you, “Look here! This way!” That part of you loves you so much that it doesn’t want you to lose the chance. It will go to extreme measures to wake you up, it will make you suffer greatly if you don’t listen. What else can it do? That is its purpose.”

He also talked in his talks how some of his most terminally ill patients told him-they were thankful for their cancer, or some of the extreme physical or mental pain they had to endure as if it wasn’t for that pain, there would be no understanding and love.

The way i see it is pretty much the same. Our body is always telling us what is wrong with us emotionally or mentally and it manifests itself in many different ways (in extreme cases serious diseases), and it is up to you to listen to it or to shut it out further.

About your regrets around career and financial choices in life – i can honestly sympathise. Did you ever consider why you feel this way though? Why you feel like you had to be making 6 figures in your life and at 43 one couldn’t just be starting from scratch? what is wrong with that? who or what makes you think there is anything wrong with that?

I spent a lot of my time feeling guilt and shame for things i did or didn’t do in my life as well. But you know, feeling a lot of guilt is just an excuse not to act NOW.

And where to find strength- all the strength you could possibly have is within you waiting to be awakened. I think you should look for it inwardly not outwardly.

• This reply was modified 3 years, 10 months ago by Nar.