Hi miyoid

As TeaK pointed out the word God comes with a lot of baggage. More often then not we relate to that word as a outer physical power that can be manipulated to watch over us if we pray, follow the rules and do every thing right.  Yet it is said (and is the reality), the rain falls and the just and unjust alike.  Though it is clear we are to avoid projecting such reasoning and measurements like good, bad, just and unjust… (the problem of opposites, duality)  onto the word ‘God’ (which transcends opposites) we all do it.

What is then a higher power? At one level it is the awareness, acknowledgment, acceptance of our our place in the Universe. G_d’s will be done, as above so below.  We are bigger then big and smaller then small. The ego may desire to control life and force it to conform to our ideals of the good, usually what is good to us. The reality is we are surrounded by forces, like LIFE which are a greater power then ours.  Yet we get to participate. As below so above. Forgive us our failings as we forgive those who fail us.

The question of the higher power is reframed. What is your relationship to Life as it is, its wonder and horror? The wisdom traditions suggests three answers.  No Life should not be. No/Maybe but we can fix it. YES. Actually all the wisdom traditions suggest the answer to be YES (They go off the rails as you noted when the answer is No or Maybe).  A relationship of Yes to Life as it is, each breath a cycle of death, birth and rebirth