Anita,

Thank you, and yes, you got everything right: I am referring to the abusive ex that I wrote about in March 2020 and I did date him from 2015-2018. We started dating when I was 15.

I have talked about it with my therapist, which is the only reason I am able to admit that it happened. For years I kept it a secret.

I think I might get an attorney, even if I don’t have any evidence right now I want to go over my options.

It’s been around 2-3 years since I broke up with him. I thought I would be over the trauma of the relationship by now, but I feel that I am only now able to be honest with myself about what happened (the emotional abuse, the sexual abuse, the digital abuse, the verbal abuse, etc.). Because I am only now processing my trauma, I feel like I am still at one of my lowest points brought on by that relationship. I get a lot of flashbacks and I am triggered a lot. On the bright side, I think a lot of my suffering from the past 2-6 years (body dysmorphia, eating disorder, anxiety, depression) has lessened a lot. I have always struggled with those things, but they seemed to get worse the more I ran away from my trauma. Now, I suffer more from PTSD, even though I still suffer, although less, from those other things.

Last night was the first time I even thought about getting justice for myself, and it wasn’t even until around 3 years after the relationship ended, which I think shows how much time it took me to actually begin processing the abuse.

I wish that I could just fast forward to the point when I no longer get flashbacks, I feel like I got justice, and my mental health improves.