Dear Jane,

In your 2019 thread you said that it was your fault that your son turned out like that. You said: “It is my fault- I have been a negligent and incompetent parent, but yet I maintain healthy relationships with my other child, my grandchildren, my siblings, my nieces and nephews and my friends and their children. Just this one I have failed in and am judged by.”

Could you tell a bit more about why you believe you’ve been “a negligent and incompetent parent”? Because if you’re blaming yourself for how you’ve brought up your son, probably that’s one of the reasons why you feel shame for cutting him off now.