Afternoon Sammy, today has been a bit crash and burn, I know it’s because I had a late night and found it difficult to shut off so feeling lethargic today, looking forward to an early night!

Its the current ex who is really fond of my mum and I would never intervene in that, my mum has made her own mind up about that as she contacted me when she said she would leave me alone but doesn’t want it to be awkward as she frequents the place where she works and will bump into her.

In regards to my previous relationship I was just young, immature and arrogant, where she was so sweet and nice there was no boundaries and felt I could do whatever I wanted, I never cheated or anything like that because even then I would never do such a thing but I would go out to clubs and pubs a lot with friends and just generally neglect her but not spend anytime with her which was a shame on my part because we went on holidays together and shared some good memories, for the last 3 months it was obviously fading out and I still done nothing about it and then after she went away for a week with her work and then decided she wanted to break up, I didn’t even take it seriously at first because I was so sure from how much she loved me we would sort things, how wrong I was and then when I realised what had actually happened it really hit me hard because I knew it would be tough to find someone like that again so I learnt a massive lesson, after a couple of weeks of begging to sort things out I just cut contact then found out a couple of months later she had a new bf, I was really bitter about the breakup but after time I realised it was all my own fault, I’ve never bumped into her in all time either so never had to chance to say I was sorry for the way I was, as it turned out she is someone who treats her well and they have kids together so I’m happy that it turned out well for her and got what she deserved. The whole experience did teach to become a better person without realising but put me off of relationships for a long time until I met my most recent ex.

I know a lot of social media is fake and try not to take much notice, it’s OK when your in a good place but can be toxic if your not. I’m all good going strong have no desire to reach out and been nearly 3 weeks now, I know I’ve got a long road ahead though and is so draining with the thoughts rattling around my head but got to keep thinking it’s only temporary and somewhere along the line is going to be happy and content place for myself.