I trust Felix won’t mind me commenting.

I suspect there are many ways of embracing ones ‘ wounded inner child’ and not all of them requires a full digging up of past disappointments.  One can come to terms with ones Mother and Father complexes through a process of seeing them as individuals with their own needs, more then only Mother and Father. Felix appears to have found his way through the tangles and we should respect that.

Like Felix I’ve wondered If my family were not my family and we came across each other if we would even like each other. My conclusion is that we would probably walk on by each other not even bothering to ask the question. That was troubling to me until I read Fredrik Backman book ‘Anxious People’ in which some of his characters were troubled by the same feeling. His response might be seen in this quote:

“Because perhaps it’s true what they say, that up to a certain age a child loves you unconditionally and uncontrollably for one simple reason, you’re theirs. Your parents and siblings can love you for the rest of your life, too, for precisely the same reason.” ― Fredrik Backman

The question of if I or my parents and siblings would like each other if we were strangers disappeared. It was a unnecessary, and unskillful question. I care about them and they care about me because we ‘belong’ to each other. And that is enough.

Fredrik Backman book ‘Anxious People’ starts with the following:

“This story is about a lot of things, but mostly about idiots. So it needs saying from the outset that it’s always very easy to declare that other people are idiots, but only if you forget how idiotically difficult being human is. Especially if you have other people, you’re trying to be a reasonably good human being for.”

I think that’s true of all our stories, at least it is of mine and I’m pretty sure of my families. Were all trying to be reasonably good human beings for each other and at times, most times are ‘idiots’.  And that’s enough

These realizations we have, these breakthroughs, I think can appear to be so simple. Surly more work is required… Such big problems should have big solutions… right?

I no longer think so.  Its coming home and seeing things as if for the first time. A realization perhaps that we work so hard for things that don’t require work. The paradox is that we cant realize that until we do the work. Yet when the work is completed why should we hang onto the work? These realizations when we come on them require only a Yes,  “I see”…. Such a odd experience especially if the expectation is for fireworks that the world will notice….

“Before one studies Zen, mountains are mountains and waters are waters; after a first glimpse into the truth of Zen, mountains are no longer mountains and waters are no longer waters; after enlightenment, mountains are once again mountains and waters once again waters.” ― Dōgen

You work so hard to climb the mountains the become more then mountains only to return in the realization that the mountains were always mountains.  So much work for that which, after the return, work is no longer required.

Maybe I’m not making any sense, words get in the way, yet I suspect Felix understands .