Thank you ladies for the latest posts. It does help me to try and make what little sense I can of all of it. Yes I do believe he is imprisoned by OCD and he demonstrates a lot of symptoms of rocd like needing to feel like he should feel more for me, worrying that he’s not good enough, that we’re not right, when everything is actually going well. Someone on an rocd forum said someone with OCD trying to trust their gut is a recipe for disaster, as the anxious mind will usually let fear be the deciding factor, or the doubt that they may have. Even if the gut feeling allows them to make a positive decision about someone, feelings come and go and doubts will always come and go, just in a new way. Decisions based on values and what the facts are seem to be better than relying on intuition. In his case he’s waiting for a feeling that will never come, a complete cease of anxiety and doubt. In my case I may be allowing my intuition to lead me into a relationship that is uncertain as for the moment it eases a larger anxiety, a fear of being without him.

I’ve been alone before and been excited to be dating men again but I don’t feel excited this time. I wonder if I should try again for the sake of my sanity and he says he thinks I will find someone better than him, but I still don’t want to leave him. I don’t think he will find a other woman. I think he could and he could fool himself for a while, but I agree the same features of this relationship would rear their ugly head.  He seems to want to let me end things more for me than him. He seems to know that he won’t be better off. It’s like he’s trying to do what’s fair. I asked if he felt he would feel relief and he said no.