Thanks for responding.

I know that my substance use is unhealthy, and that I do it to numb my feelings. I have tried to quit but I struggle with it. I also know that my substance use is not helping my cognitive issues. It just feels so overwhelming to contemplate stopping. These have been my crutches for so long, I don’t know how to deal with my feelings without them. I feel like self-acceptance is where I have to start.

I really appreciate the responses. It feels good to be seen, even if only virtually.