I know I need to create new patterns, I feel like I’m going down the same ones daily lol! I’m hoping the therapy helps with that, I’ve tried so hard to focus different patterns but i alwayd come back to the same roads, the worst is in the morning when I first wake up, within a second I’m aware of whats happening, such a dark surreal feeling. I may start to write things out to help organise my thoughts, I’ve done this before and it did help.

I’m not spiritual but I do enjoy reading, I tend to read a lot online, I have a wealth of knowledge on dealing with losing someone you deeply care for leaving your life in a painful way but its so hard to implement everything, saying that I know timeframes vary and i may have deeper issues that need to be addressed.

I know what your saying about my friends, I’m very much cared about and I know that, it’s more about me wanting to be myself and I’m happy to wait it out until I feel better, I know this isnt going to last forever.

I feel have closure now that’s she’s seeing someone else, Ive actually said before I wish she would just move on if she doesn’t want me because at least I can be left alone to heal so its happened now, I think it’s just stinging because she has moved on with someone else and I’m still grieving, although like Danny said I’m working on myself to better and she had just jumped in at the first opportunity when she has all the issues she has, I will reap the benefits in the long run, well I hope so anyway

• This reply was modified 3 years, 8 months ago by Jay.