TeaK,

I think I am understanding his need for approval as well, this seems right.

My sister told him that She would never let us be together and If I(IpkRO9) so wished to be with him, I need to choose between him and her and If i choose him, I will have to cut her off for life.

When he emphasized that he loved me a lot, that I was important to him, and that we have never had a normal relationship because of this issue and she fixing the damage she did at least in my home would bring us both happiness and we wouldn’t bother her anymore. She was enraged. She said that she can’t imagine a person of his status( he earned well even then but due to his parents’ debts which he was taking care of, so he struggled with his finances then) to be with me (she considers my parents’ money as ours’-the kids’)

Anyways the conversation ended with she talking really offensive things about his upbringing and his parents to which he replied that at least he isn’t dependent on his parents for his life and is independent and then he said that if we choose to be together, he would never consider her in the decision.

Before this incident, he always felt like he needed to apologize to her and needed her approval- because she told everyone that he did a really bad thing, all friends treated him like a criminal over this…for dating his friend’s younger sister.

This incident changed his mind about it all. But, he also somewhere wanted to let go of everything that reminded him of her and other friends and I was the last link.

Both of us guided one another, he finally switched jobs and two major companies tried to acquire him, and finally, he got into a dream job for most people in our country. About a month later, I got a job too. Not as great as his, obviously he is a senior in terms of work as well as education.

Today, he is stable financially. Has invested in multiple places and is content in terms of his work.

I think it is for the best to cut ties for both our mental healths.

My friends keep telling me that he will creep back in, they are like just imagine a life with him. What if he wants other women even after marriage, etc.

The thing is I want a void, for now, I don’t want to think of him. Don’t want to be reminded of him too. I want to finish the things that I have been keeping on my pending list to finish one fine day. I want that one fine day, now! I wish him happiness but I need me now, I want a lot of things. I want to have stability too. mentally, physically and financially.

About my previous ex, when we had first started- I was different but slowly when he started knowing my situation at home, he manipulated it and kept forcing me to fight at home for money.

I have a friend like him currently, These men think they know me very well. They will keep telling me nobody but me knows you best. I keep this friend to have perspective on my past and what kind of men I absolutely have to avoid, The Know-it-all pretends.