Anita,

Here is the crazy part to my situation.  My ex is on the school board committee where our kids go to elementary school.  He coaches all of their sports and does baseball/softball coaching on the side.  He is a manager at State Farm with good standing at his job.  His facebook reads like he has the perfect life. (as social media does)  They have family pictures all over the walls of their house (I went there for Christmas morning.  My idea to do it- I can elaborate it’s worth hearing (maybe). He has bought a ton of expensive items for the house and kids and totally redid the house.

He is actually a pretty good dad? He’s decent/good.  His girlfriend is extremely strict and not very maternal.  My kids are not fans of her rules.  But overall? It could be a lot worse.

Now I know who he really is but no one else does.  He takes out a lot of his frustration on me still.  Do I think it’s not like that behind closed doors? no.

The thing is I don’t want to know or care about any of this.  I’m climbing a wall and it’s slick and my feet keep slipping.  the rope burns my hands and my arms are shaking.  I’m getting to the top it’s just very slowly.